The Indian Talking Stick

When I was growing up my mom frequently told me this - "you have two ears to listen with and one mouth to speak, this means you should listen twice as much as you speak." For those of us who like to talk and share our opinions this can be a difficult practice. However, listening is a critical leadership principle.

The early Indians had a way to deal with this and it was called the Talking Stick. Here's how it worked. Durng a meeting, the Indian Talking Stick is passed around from one person to the next. Only the person holding the Talking Stick was allowed to speak. The stick remains in the person's hand until everyone in the circle understands what has been said. Once this person is fully understood the stick is handed to the next person. There is an interesting result of this method of listening - as the tribal members pass the stick around, they slowly become less combative and more cohesive.

Often, as much as 50% of leadership is about listening, observing, and interpreting what you see and hear. So, how do we listen well? Here's a couple of suggestions:

1. Show Empathy - what this means is entering into another person's situation. This could be a family member at home, this could be a co-worker or employee who may be having a difficult time. The key is understanding how this person feels and then showing genuine care for them.

2. Ask Good Questions - this is my favorite. I enjoy asking questions in order to get a person thinking about a certain subject. When we ask questions we are opening the door for us to listen carefully and connect with people. As we listen we are able to better understand where they are coming from.

Through the art of listening your relationships with be strengthened and your influence will increase.